This one goes out anonymously to a few mamas with children on the autism spectrum. I nannied part time for a precious soul, and another mother I have gotten to know well through my mom, while another I met through mutual friends in Corpus Christi. I have taught kids on the spectrum and cared deeply for their struggling little hearts. This post is also a tribute to all the mamas who are faced with children who don't fit the general mold.
To these mamas I say,
You are doing an unbelievably wonderful job.
Here are some insights into their situations (obviously these are not EXACT quotes, rather, remembered snippets of conversations that made a lifelong impression):
"When I think about this too much I start to get paranoid and I start wondering if there is some giant conspiracy and maybe China is putting something in our water to make our next generation of boys non-functional to fight a war or something, because what else could cause this on such an increasing scale? So I just try not to think about it. I don't have time for paranoid."
"Listen to your gut. When you know something is wrong don't let some bonehead pediatrician try to tell you that you're overreacting. You are your child's greatest advocate and if you don't stand up for them then who will?"
"I don't care if he is good at it or terrible at it, I want him to have art as a way of self-soothing and expression. I want it to always be a way for him to relax and be happy."
"My son can speak multiple languages fluently, unfortunately English isn't one of them."
"My son graduated from high school and was able to get a job."
"People don't understand that my greatest fear is him running out into the street. Other kids listen when you tell them to stop. Mine might not realize that he is the one I'm yelling at."
"My most cherished piece of artwork is the one my son did just before things changed. That is the most meaningful piece in my home." (this was said by an ACTUAL artist)
"I need a root canal and I have eight cavities but I can't afford it because I am paying for my son's therapy. I've sold all of my jewelry and work two jobs. What am I supposed to do? I mean, he is my son. I won't take away his lifelines."
"My 5 year old son blurted out 'I love you mommy' while we were driving today. I have never heard him say that before and I don't know if I ever will again."
The quick, immediate currency of (young) motherhood tends to be the reckless abandon with which kisses and hugs and gifts and and "I love you"s are delivered from their sweet, grubby, artless little faces. This is a currency that is not always a given for these mothers. They aren't always thanked, they are often times judged, and their road is the one less traveled and they didn't make the choice to take it, and yet they take it with such grace and love that I want to raise them up.
